Many anxious children and adolescents feel more secure sleeping close to their parents. Especially children with separation anxiety may even cry and beg to sleep in your bed. This can be a problem, not just for your child but for yourself. When anxious children sleep in their parents’ bed, they will not face their fears and will continue to be afraid of sleeping alone. They will no longer learn how to calm themselves down and they will not see that everything will be fine. Sleeping with parents can also prevent parents from sleeping well or spending time alone with their spouse. Although most parents know that it is not right for their child to be afraid of sleeping alone, they do not know how to correct their behavior.
Step # 1- Discovering Your Child
Before starting any new home program, it is important that your child understands what is going to happen and why. For younger children, you may want to try reading a book about sleeping together and explain to them that wanting to sleep in their parents’ bed allows them to let their fears take over.
Explain to teens that sleeping is the only normal part of growing up, and while it may seem scary, it is very important to deal with it gradually.
Step # 2- Discovering Your Purpose Make your bedroom a fun environment
It is important to keep this new change as simple as possible for your child. Make her room as attractive and fun as you can with her help. Be creative and encourage your child to decorate his room with interesting things like photos, posters, paintings, bedside lamps, or bedspreads in the color of his choice. Focusing his attention on the positives will make him less anxious to sleep alone.
You should also try to draw your child’s attention to the benefits of sleeping in his or her own bedroom:
For younger children, it can be fun to become an “older boy or girl” by sleeping alone.
To want to sleep in a room that belongs to him. If your child shares a room with a sibling, you can design a personal space in each room that he or she can decorate to his or her own taste.
Older children and teens are thinking about one day being able to stay at a friend’s house or go on a trip or camp with friends.
Step # 3- Discovering Your Purpose
As a parent, you probably have a plan for your child’s sleep, which may include reading a book or kissing good night. This program should be done in your child’s bedroom. Even if your child is not ready to sleep alone, it will be easier for him to sleep alone in the future if he prepares to sleep in his own room.
Step # 4- Discovering Your Purpose
It may be unrealistic to expect your child to be able to sleep alone in his or her room right away. Instead, think of these as actions that you must take on a regular basis to achieve a good night’s sleep.
If you want to ask your child to deal with his fears gradually, it is very important that you move forward with your child’s progress. Every child or adolescent is different and may progress at a different pace. Here are some tips for the first step:
Ask your child to sleep on a separate bed in your room.
Ask your child to sleep on a bed close to your room.
Ask your child to sleep on a bed outside your room (open in your room).
Ask your child to sleep in his or her own bedroom, and you should sit in a chair by the bed until he or she falls asleep (you should not sleep in his or her bed).
Ask your child to sleep in his bedroom with the lights on and you stay in his room for 10 minutes.
Tip: For some kids and teens, getting used to sleeping alone can be very scary, so you need to take a few extra steps up your child’s fear ladder:
Agree to visit him once or twice during the night.
Give him a walkie-talkie so he can have you by his side when he wants to sleep alone so he can text you when needed.
Anything your child feels or can do in order to be able to gradually sleep alone in his room is a step in the right direction!
Step # 5- Discovering Your Purpose
Whatever fear your child is facing, whatever it is, it is a difficult situation. That’s why it’s so important to admire him and get him a prize! Whenever your child is able to climb a ladder of fear, be sure to praise and encourage him or her for this success.
tip:
Make a wallpaper with the days of the week and put a gold star on it every night that your child was able to reach his goal on the ladder of fear. Put this wallpaper on the wall from home to where everyone can see how your child is progressing. Note that you should never remove any stars from the wallpaper due to bad behavior. Your goal is for these stars to encourage your child, not as a means of punishing him.
- Some children complain of nightmares. Waking up in the middle of the night with a nightmare may require some of the comfort you can provide.
How to help your child stay out of the night
Many children and adolescents with separation disorders are afraid to sleep outside the home. They may be afraid to go to camp, sleep with a friend or even their grandparents overnight. Fortunately, you can help your child control this fear as well as the fear of sleeping in a separate room in your own home.
